Drugs make people do crazy things. So why do most states sell the most addictive drug to inmates? Prison is full of misconduct. By allowing drugs, the misconduct only escalates.
On 2-25-13 Ryan Mayer #843607, an inmate at SCCC, was being promoted from a long term medium facility to a short term minimum facility. His last stop before freedom.
The transitional process means a week stay at the dreaded Receiving Units in Shelton, WA. (aka: The R-Units). All inmates filter through the R-Units before they reach their new destination. The R-Units are loud, filthy, and over crowded. Inmates are not allowed to bring anything with them. And since Ryan is addicted to coffee, he decided to smuggle some.
Anytime inmates are transferred, they are strip searched. So the only place to hide the freeze dried Keefe Coffee is up their ass.
The night before Ryan was due to leave, he got a hold of some latex gloves. (the guards use these gloves when conducting official business such as: strip searches, cell searches, etc…). Ryan uses these gloves to package coffee in and then shoves it up his ass.
Here’s How To Get Caught…
Ryan was sitting in the dayroom BS’ing with his buddies one last time before he leaves. The announcement blares over the PA system, “All inmates on the outgoing chain, report to the property room at this time.”
Instead of following the other two outgoing inmates, Ryan goes into his old cell.
But why? There’s nothing in there for him. He’s completely packed up, and his celly is at work. He has NO reason to be going back into that cell. Except to shove a few homemade keyster packs of coffee up his ass.
A guard see’s him enter the cell. The guard waits about 90 seconds before he slowly walks to Ryans cell. As he looks in, he observes Ryan bent over sliding something up his ass!
Immediately, the guard calls for back up, “Breaker, breaker. All officers be advised, I have an inmate sticking foreign objects up his anus.”
Within seconds, a swarm of officers rush to Ryans cell, put him in handcuffs, and haul him to the medical unit.
At medical, they make him sh*t in a bag. Out comes one finger of a latex glove. It’s covered in feces. They wash it off and cut it open. The big bust of the day: A few grams of freeze dried Keefe Coffee, and one set of ear plugs.
Prison officials demoted Ryan back down to medium custody. He is no longer eligible for minimum custody. He’ll spend the rest of his 60 days sitting at SCCC sipping on Keefe Coffee.
Moral of the story: No matter what the drug is, drug addiction is bad. People will do whatever it takes to get their fix.
Remedy: Don’t do drugs.